"The elephant in the room" is an expression as old as Moses. The “elephant in the room” is a metaphorical idiom for an important topic/problem or issue that is glaringly obvious to everyone but no one acknowledges or mentions it. Choosing to ignore it is easier. The only problem with ignoring the "elephant" is it then likens to an infection; if it is not treated or cured, the infection will become diseased and toxic, possibly causing "amputation" or "death".
There are three individual images above that have been integrated into one whole graphic. The first identifies different ways the elephant is treated; Denial, Avoidance, Diversion, Ignore, and etc. The second image shows an elegant room (symbolism for a life, relationship, etc.) that has been destroyed or is in the process of being destroyed because of the effect of the elephant not being eliminated. The last image is the process of getting the elephant taken care of....communication and addressing it together. There are a few things I have learned in my life that are repeatedly true: (1) NO ONE can read minds, (2) COMMUNICATION is the KEY to understanding, (3) The dumbest question is the one that is NOT asked, (4) if one truly cares about the effect the elephant has on their family, work, relationship, friendship and/or life, they will 100%+ address the issue and then solve the problem. The next important strategy is to establish REINFORCEMENTS (other adjectives: fortifications, preventions, supports, aids, back-ups) to escort the elephant out. It is crucial to remember, elephants come in all sizes. Many times they can be large African elephants and they need to handled by more than one person - a partners help. Trying to "fix" or eliminate the elephant may be too difficult to handle alone. If it is your partners elephant, don't abandon them or leave to them to do themself. Help, encourage, guide, support, or whatever is needed (especially if it is your spouse or a loved one) to eliminate the elephant. Remember the elegant room? Whatever it symbolizes, it has to be put back together and some pieces may need to be replaced because they are broken beyond repair. Our relationships should not be to have power over the other, or to be the "boss", or be totally self focused. On the contrary, Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13). So what does that mean? You may have to make the first move to make things right. The goal is the SOLVE the problem, live in harmony, and have intimacy - that closeness we crave. Maybe that is one of the reasons the Bible mentions (Ephesians 4:26) not allowing the sun to go down on one's wrath/anger; it may turn into an elephant overnight? "Clearing the air" makes way for Adult to Adult conversation and creates room for open and honest interaction, and ultimately the intimacy that we want again. There is nothing more special and amazing than an intimate, close, and uninhibited relationship!! Isn't that what individuals want? **Humor and honesty (are) can be good characteristics when addressing difficult or sticky issues, when used with courtesy and done appropriately.
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Author(s):Kevin and Mabel are a Ameri-Pino couple. He is American and she is Filipino. These are our thoughts and reflections about our lives and relationship together. Archives
January 2022
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