Have you ever been going through a store and you see a parent yelling at their child, berating their child with an expression like this, "Do that again and see what happens", or "quit being stupid" or actually slapping their child in the back of the head? The expression could easily be made, "if the parent is like this in public, are they abusive at home?"
Words carry power and can mentally and psychologically build up or destroy someone. They can see themselves as successful or a failure. No matter if it is your parent, sibling, boss, colleague, spouse, or friend, their words and actions can make you feel appreciated, secure, and confident, or a failure, worthless, not important. There are a series of 3 word scenarios that I know from experience are essential to be the best person you can be and building up and edifying that special person in your life. Some of these 3-word expressions can build life into someone else and help rebuild or restore a broken area in a relationship. These 3-word expressions can be life giving... 1. I love you. 2. Please forgive me. 3. I forgive you. 4. I was wrong. 5. You are beautiful / handsome. 6. You're my hero. 7. I appreciate you. (Show it too) 8. Let's pray together. These are just some very simple (example) expressions that are essential in any relationship and can help build a bridge or resolve many issues between any two or more people. Make a difference in your life or your special someone's life and speak life, hope, and love into them.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but her smile is worth the World! I have written a little about this before but one thing that means the most to me is Mabel's laugh, her happy and sparkling eyes, and her smile. No matter what, those three things are my gauge to know her heart.
Likewise, there are three other important things that we both hold dear in our lives and in our relationship. (1) Honesty and Transparency; to truly be open and not withhold anything from each other. It is my sincere hope and goal that we both openly share our failures, frustrations, and hurts to each other, but also share our triumphs, successes, and laughs together. I have always wanted to marry my best friend and truly give her everything; my today, tomorrow, and especially my whole heart. (2) Taking time to connect - having quality time together. We cannot get too busy...no one ever says they wished they had worked longer hours so they could miss time with their family/spouse. It will always be the opposite. Most everyone wants more time with what matters, family/love/spouse. Question: how are we spending our time? We want to spend ours together, as much as possible. This last time we got to see each other, our new expression we learned was, "there is never enough time". That is what we want, more time with each other, always. (3) Our three F's: Friendship, Forgiveness, and Faithfulness. As I said above, I have always wanted to marry my best friend. I am sure most everyone does. I am thankful for her. She wants to be my best friend, share in every part of my life, and I with her as well. If I participate in anything, I want her to be my cheerleader. If she wants to participate in anything, I want to be her cheerleader as well. A true partnership together. We all know no one is perfect. Forgiveness and faithfulness are critical in any relationship. These are two things which we cannot deviate from because they are both anchors for Trust. Giving oneself wholly to your spouse is the greatest present one can give, YOU. I will give her all of me, and I know and trust she will give her all too. My best friend, my partner, and my today & tomorrow, ALWAYS. What are the most important characteristics in a good/great/successful relationship? If you do a search for this subject on Google, in 0.92 seconds, you get 880,000,000 results. Yes, 880 million different results or answers to that question.
Friendship, truth, honesty, transparency, faithfulness, a loving relationship, affection, and the list can go on. There is nothing more important than a true and real authentic relationship with your special someone. Deep down, one would think that every individual hopes and desires to love and be loved in a way that makes them feel as though they are the most important person in their loved ones life. 1. Believe the best about each other. 1 Corinthians 13:7 tells us, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Believing in each other, that is What's Most Important! 2. Have Deep Honesty. Discuss some of your hopes and dreams and your fears and failures. This means a lot more than simply not lying. It’s allowing another person to see the not-so-pleasant baggage that you’re carrying. Honesty, that is What's Most Important! 3. Prefer the other. Live each day in closeness with your spouse. Unselfishness, that is What's Most Important! 4. Provide GRACE to your spouse. No one is perfect and believe me, when you mess up you will want grace too. These are the people we have chosen to spend our lives with. Love each other, treasure each other, forgive each other, prefer each other and make a wonderful and fulfilling life together; that is What's Most Important! 5. Trust - Trust takes years to build and only a second to break. A spouse is trusted with so much: fears, vulnerabilities, wounds from previous experiences, and so much more. "In a good marriage, a spouse discloses these innermost thoughts and trusts that it won’t be used against them in future arguments.” (Caroline Madden). Trust, that is What's Most Important! Getting your first bicycle, making a perfect score on a hard test, getting the nerve up to hold your special someone's hand for the first time, saying "YES" to a proposal, experiencing your first snow, snow tubing for the first time, or reliving many other special "moments" in ones life. These moments are ones you can close your eyes and vividly remember specific details to over and over. Just like hearing a specific song can transport you in time to a special moment that happened in your life while that song was playing, having these special moments in one's life is a true privilege. They are individual celebrations you have that help one remember how special life's events can be, and how special they are when shared with loved ones.
I am a very big nostalgia guy. I love reliving special moments over and over, especially happy occasions and memories. That is why we (Mabel and I) take pictures and video so much; to capture those magical moments in time and in our lives. As we look forward to new memories and shared moments together, I gladly and thankfully will hold on to our others together, past, present, and future. Having her to make these life moments is one of the greatest treasures in my heart. Some of my favorite moments that we presently share are those where Mabel laughs hysterically. I love the way her eyes squint or close when she laughs really hard. Her smile always lights up my day. When these things combine, her laugh, those beautiful captivating eyes, and her smile, I know she has complete and pure happiness. Another moment I love that we share together is when we hold hands. She is an individual that doesn't just hold hands, actually, we both slide our hands against each others. We don't just hold hands, we capture the feel of each others hands and enjoy the togetherness of our touch. There are so many more that I could share but I can honestly say, I urgently look forward to our new shared moments in our future together. Thank you Mabel! ![]() No, this does not mean 5 divided by 365 or 4 divided by 365. So, what does 5/365 or at least 4/365 mean? Simple. 365 is the number of days in a year and the 4 and 5 represent the basic special days for your special someone. 5 can represent the following: Valentines Day, their Birthday, Mother/Fathers Day, Anniversary, and Christmas. 4 represents the same yearly special days except Mothers/Fathers Day. Each year we are given 365 days to share with our special someones, whether it is husband/wife, fiancé, children, or other family members or special people in our lives. Each day we have with each other truly is a gift. Having the opportunity to make special days for a loved one are a real treasure where we can make them feel special or we get the chance to let them know how appreciated they are in our lives. Those 4 or 5 days should be the minimum for those special days each year. It is cliche to reiterate the old saying, "Every day is a gift, that is why they call it the present". It is true though. We don't know what may happen tomorrow or if we will have a tomorrow. Take advantage of the present time we have together - live, laugh, and love (each other) every special person in our lives. Let them know how special, amazing, and loved they are. Celebrate these 4 or 5 days each year together.... Valentines - special event, dinner, present for your special someone. Something that shows you LOVE them, and treasure them. It is not about how expensive the present is - just celebrate them. Birthday - make or do something that celebrates THEM - their life, their birth. Without this (birthday) you wouldn't have them in your life. Anniversary - whatever anniversary it may be...your first meeting, first kiss, marriage, first date, etc., be sure to celebrate it. Christmas - always something...something special, whether personally made, written, or a store bought gift. It is never about the amount, it is about the meaning behind the gift. ALWAYS have something. Listen to what your special someone says, listen for clues, etc. Mothers/Fathers Day - not socks or ties...ha, ha. **The most important thing overall is to do this....CELEBRATE YOUR SPECIAL SOMEONE, ALWAYS, especially in times of disagreement or frustration. Celebrate your time together. LOVE, TREASURE, and EMBRACE. ![]() Mabel and I love to have regular devotional times together. We have scheduled time(s)/day(s) where we purposely set aside time to talk, read, discuss the devotional, and pray together. It is truly one of the greatest things we do. It is one of our anchors we have in our relationship that will always be a part of US. We truly love that time together and treasure it. Recently we started a new devotional plan together called, “Building a Better US”. It focuses on having a balanced life, a purposeful relationship, communication, and navigating technology in a relationship, to name a few. These topics allow us to talk individually and share our sincere concerns, hopes, goals, and desires for our relationship, as well as key factors to being successful together. Our item for today addressed technology, boundaries, and it's usage; when, where, how and why. Our philosophy is pretty much the same....no secrets, strong communication, transparency, and openness together, no matter how difficult to share. Our devotion addressed boundaries with technology, and more specifically, ensuring no secrecy between each other with technology. We both believe we should have full access to anything we have individually regarding technology, complete openness and transparency with our texts, messages, pictures, etc. In other words, full accountability with our devices, computers, and such. One scripture we both treasure is a key verse to building great relationships; “Beware the little foxes that can spoil the vineyard,” Song of Solomon 2:15. It is compared to what we all presently know in our shopping habits and homes – security systems. The owners knowing or seeing what is happening real time. Security allows people to protect the things they love – their homes, for example, from thieves, intruders, or anyone potentially seeking to harm them. Having a “security system” allows the owners to safeguard their investments. It is the same way for us. We want to protect US, safeguard US, continue to build US, and make our relationship a safe haven and safe place for each other. We want to defend our US from any “little” things that can cause cracks in the wall where distrust, dishonesty, or anything that may cause hurt or ruin to the relationship we both want, desire, strive for, and hope to continue until our last breath. Okay, so "bumping into each other" is a literal statement. When Mabel and I walk together, holding hands, of course, something happens. We constantly will bump into each other. We laugh about it and still don't know who bumps into who, or if we both cannot walk straight. At times, we will do it on purpose just to make a comment and laugh.
One of greatest joys is seeing the one you love, laugh. The best laugh is the one where they "laugh from their gut". You know the type. The laugh that is uninhibited and they just let loose. Nothing brings a bigger smile to me than that; an uninhibited, unapologetic, laugh out loud. That's when I know I have seen the real person - them, in a sense of full transparency. For me, it is the simple things, the tiny things that can make something BIG. In all honesty, the sense of touch, whether is it accidental or on purpose is an essential love language for me. As long as I see her smile, hear her laugh, and know her heart is full, life is and will be great together. ![]() Code Words are secret messages shared between family, best friends, siblings, and spouses. Special code words are special moments that have specific meanings or references to a specific event or fun time shared between the individuals. When they are said in random conversations they may bring a smile to the significant others face or it may be a secret message to the other to "get me out of here" or "I don't remember their name. Can you introduce yourself?" Code words that are shared between each other are those special moments that connect you to a specific moment, event, or time. These are also special times that no one else can or will understand the meaning to except those specific individuals. It's your special language with them. The best part of code words is when you say the word(s) and it brings a smile or even laughter to your "secret agent". Mabel and I have our own code words that are special for us. They bring a smile, laughter, and some have a special meaning. Having a special connection together is always fun because it is US. Something that we share with each other - our special moments together. Pictures and video capture special moments and memories together that you want to always remember and repeatedly look at. Code words are a little of the same, except they are a special connection and moments shared only between you and your special someone. Try to always make a memory, more memories, share a special time together and always hold them dear. ![]() Typically at the start of a new year, many focus on eliminating mistakes from the previous year , losing weight, and making new years resolutions. There are always things I want to change, improve myself on, or master as an individual, and specifically as a man. My focus for the next 25 years is to build a mansion, but not the house type. I want to "Build a home that looks like a castle." If you ask someone what would be their dream house you will get as many different answers as the number of people you ask. Everyone may want something completely different but there may also be several similarities. For example, to be on the beach, to have a pool, a huge en suite for their bedroom, master kitchen, and on I could go. My goal and focus is to build a "Home" and "Castle". One of the many definitions of "Home" found in Webster's dictionary includes my personal understanding of the word; "A dwelling place together with the family" that includes the following: a. An environment offering security and happiness. b. A valued place regarded as a refuge. *Castle is defined as: a fortified stronghold. I want to build a fortified stronghold (spiritually) that is a dwelling place for my family that offers security and happiness that will be a refuge and safe haven from the world. I am a man that desires to protect and serve my wife and family. They will and can depend on me to serve them, lead us as a family, and hopefully see God in my life, in front of others and behind closed doors. My prayer and hope for 2021 and beyond, "Dear God, please make me into the man you have called me be. Forgive my sin. Destroy pride and selfishness. Give me a heart like yours. Take me, break me, and make me into what my family needs. Help me to seek your face daily. Find me faithful to you in every way. Help me to lead my family to you everyday and every week for the rest of my life. Help me to love and serve my wife as your scripture says, and to be the man her heart craves for. Here am I Lord, use me in spite of myself. Take my weaknesses and let them become your strengths. Help me stand for what is right and not falter or break under pressure. Amen! ![]() I have another blog/website that I use for conferences that I may teach or lead a workshop where I upload my sessional content. I also use it for educational technology and career technology items from my previous work as a classroom teacher. Oddly enough, I have an html script on the website that captures all IP addresses when they visit the site. It only shows what city and country the visitor is accessing the webpage from. It merely shows me how small the world truly is because of the internet. Each year on January 1, the world map clears itself and allows the tracking to reset. All of those visitors through the year are wiped clean and now the site starts all over. Not to sound "cheesy" but that is sort of what the New Year is as well. It provides the possibility to "Start Again", "Start Fresh", or even wipe away all mistakes and purpose to make right choices and decisions, to begin BRAND NEW.. A quote by Mehmet Murat ildan that humorously sums up 2020 states, "Sometimes a year has been so disastrous and so terrible that entering a new year will automatically mean entering a wonderful year!" Due to craziness of this year, many people are ready to have 2020 end as soon as possible and move to the new year. This year has seen a major series of world events, market recessions, natural disasters, weather fiasco's, political upheavals, and not to mention a life changing global pandemic like most of us have never seen before. On the other hand, it has also been a year of triumphs and accomplishments, new opportunities, new relationships, new medical discoveries, and new open doors for many individuals. Each year, most hope for their dreams, or at least one life dream, to come true. We purpose in our hearts, typically, that this new year will be different; we will win, we will accomplish our hopes and truly "live our dream". 2021 has the potential to offer many opportunities, but so does each and every day. It all depends on how we start and finish our day. I, for one, am really looking forward to the opportunities ahead this year. The possibilities are limitless. Tackling the unknown is thrilling. This year should/will bring new adventures, a brand new living environment/culture, a beautiful relationship, and the hope of starting/making a new life. There are three quotes that I really like.....one by David Bowie, the second by Danielle Carson. and finally Robin Sharma. 1. I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring. 2. The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot. 3. Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life. **Here is to the best year yet; Hello 2021! |
Author(s):Kevin and Mabel are a Ameri-Pino couple. He is American and she is Filipino. These are our thoughts and reflections about our lives and relationship together. Archives
January 2022
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