When someone asks you, "What is your hope in marriage?", how would you answer it? That may be an awkward question, but everyone has a "HOPE" in marriage; what they desire it will be, what it will look like, and also what it will look like in 5, 10, or 20 years. Most everyone has the hope and desire it will be fulfilling, happy, and perfect. Although no one is perfect, I truly believe every marriage has the opportunity to be fulfilling, rewarding, and a vision of heaven. No matter what obstacles there may be, any relationship and marriage can truly prosper and be fruitful.
My personal hope is to take care of my best friend who will be my wife, and be a complete family. By complete, I mean to always keep communication open, honoring each other, truly being transparent with one another, keeping the "sparkle" in our eyes, and building our tomorrows together. Our covenant together will be secured daily and founded upon the values we developed as a couple. These principles were shared in the first post on Sept. 1, 2020. Fulfilling my responsibility as a man includes preferring others over or before myself. A true act of masculinity is treating your wife like the most important person in the world. Our mission in life is to fulfill God's calling which involves our roles in the family. 1. Be a leader (1 Corinthians 11:3) in our family. 2. Visibly Love unconditionally (Ephesians 5:20-25), nurture, respect and take care of our family. 3. Serve our family (John 13:1-17) 4. Providing for our family (1 Timothy 5:8); spiritually, emotionally, and financially. Taking the initiative to helping them meet their needs 5. Consistent in Godly character (John 3:30, "He must increase and I must decrease).Spending time in God's word together, praying for/with them.
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![]() Isn't it funny? During our present day and time during this global pandemic, in the United States, you can't go into a bank without a face mask. Before Covid-19, a person entering a bank with a mask on and everyone would run b/c you would think the bank is being robbed. Now it is required and normal. These face masks are our new "normal" and it's a normal I am ready to go away. I miss seeing smiles and laughter. The other issue with these face masks is the concept that many times they hide who we are and we may not be recognized by others, including friends or even family. These masks hide our face, our smiles, and allow us to go around unrecognized sometimes. One of the most important things in relationships, especially marriage, and in our families, is to NEVER wear a "mask" around each other. This is not talking about a physical "mask" but a emotional or psychological cover. This means hiding who we are, what we struggle with, things that are bothering us, or when we need help. Wearing a mask, or covering something up to seem like we are "okay", "not bothered" or the like, is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship, because that means we are being fake, or not authentic. We owe it to those who love us to share our lives honestly, authentically, and be real with them. Family are the ones who invest in us, believe in us, and want us to succeed. "All the world's a stage" but our family, our fiancé, spouse, and children are the audience. They should be the ones to know what is going on, without secrets. Be real, love, share, and empower each other. Invest in those you love and want to spend your life with. Always give your best. They deserve that and more. If you read many of the headlines around the world, it doesn't take long to realize how crazy life is around us. If there is one certainty in life, it's that it is very uncertain. We do not know what tomorrow may hold. Thus the question, shouldn't life with our "better half" be a haven of safety, security and love?
One thing I love about my beautiful Mabel is the fact of her need to be loved by ME. As a man, I want to provide her the three most important things in her life. 1. Assurance of my love for her and my commitment to her. 2. Consistency in my family leadership; spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. 3. Confirmation that I will take care of her. (Her safety and security when we are together (and apart)). Marriage and relationships are one of the greatest gifts God has given to man and woman. The privilege of having someone by your side to share life with. Marriage is supposed to be a taste of heaven, here on Earth, together. Having someone to confide in and to share our triumphs and failures with. Having someone to love and to love us, unashamedly and wholeheartedly, without hindrance or hesitation. My life's pledge to her is to always be my best and give my best. I want to make our relationship a true taste of heaven for her. To love unashamedly and never withhold my affection from her. It is my responsibility to ensure that we communicate with each other completely - never any secrets or dishonesty. I, WE, must talk and communicate with each other...WHY? because neither one of us can read each others mind. My life responsibility is love her with all I have everyday, one day at a time, to protect US and OUR relationship. In marriage, being a servant leader means ensuring that the wife’s material, emotional and spiritual needs are met. I should respect, affirm and love her at all times. A great husband loves his wife unconditionally and is a servant leader just like Christ. Christmas is our favorite time of the year. Everyone seems happier. When one hears Christmas music they will typically have sweet memories or some experiences may flood their minds of a favorite Christmas, a particularly memorable gift, or a family tradition.
Something I learned this year about the Filipino culture was they start Christmas music September 1. This period is also known as, "The months of BER"; as in, SeptemBER, OctoBER, NovemBER, and DecemBER. In the United States, Christmas music typically starts mid-November or immediately after Thanksgiving - the last week of November, noted as the official start of the "Christmas Season". Since we are still in a LDR, we use social media for real time video communication. For fun, starting on September 1, I decided to wake Mabel up with Christmas music to honor her cultural practice. In waking her up I would see a smile come across her face when she heard the music even though her eyes remained closed. I played the typical classic songs to start the season. For example, Mariah Carey - All I want for Christmas is you, Michael Buble - It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, Holly Jolly Christmas, White Christmas, and Frank Sinatra - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, etc. I can honestly say, there is no better way to see your special someone wake up than with a magnificent smile on their face! It is a true heart warming experience. For me this was another "First", playing Christmas music in SeptemBER. Happy Holidays Mabel! :) One of the exciting things a couple shares in a relationship are their similarities. Another exciting thing they share together are their differences. Initially, the differences are exciting because it is a growing and learning experience between the two. Sometimes, as time passes, those differences may no longer be exciting but a challenge. One of the things we have chosen to do is being intentional with our relationship and not only embracing our differences but ensuring both of us honor each others differences, our individuality, and our cultures.
One thing I have already learned about her is her dedication to family and our future together. I am so thankful that we share a common faith and that we are both able to speak English. She is trying to teach me Tagalog (which her patience is amazing) and although it is a slow process for me I look forward to having a great conversation with her (and her mom) in her native language. A great thing about any and all relationships is the opportunity to share "First's" together. Our first "First's" we shared were going on a desert safari (for me) together and snow skiing (for her) at the Mall of Emirates. Other firsts' for me was swimming in the Persian Gulf, trying Filipino food (Pancit) at one of her favorite restaurants, Chow King. We have many "firsts" to come and I (we) look forward to every single one. Some that we have talked about include: 1. Sharing a white Christmas - would be a first for us both, and her to see real snow for the first time ever. 2. Hiking to the summit of a mountain together 3. Making a music video together - us singing or lip syncing 4. Riding a Ferris Wheel together 5. Going to each others home country. Her to the U.S., and me to the Philippines. Our first update focuses on what we, Mabel and I, have established as our top priorities in our relationship. When we first started talking, it was amazing how similar we were in what our hopes were in a relationship. One of the first things we did was to learn each others "Love Language". This is a simple 7-10 minute questionnaire (by Gary Chapman - The 5 Love Languages) that identifies what each individual values in their relationship in the way they desire to be loved.
At the time of this writing, we are celebrating 9 months together as a couple. Over our many conversations, we have learned a lot about each other and know that we are still only scratching the surface of who we are. Each individual is multi-faceted and we have committed ourselves to each other, but more so, our relationship together with God. We are both evangelical Christians and know that our relationship with God is priority and must take precedence in order to keep our relationship with each other on the right track and going the right way. We talked about what is essential to us (Our Marriage Core Values) and we created our "Priority List". Our items are listed in order of importance and are regularly addressed so we do not lose focus on our relationship with each other. Our Priorities for our healthy relationship include: 1. God (personal relationship & together devotions/prayer time) 2. Putting the other first (Prefer them - not selfishness) 3. Communication (Honesty & Transparency - Share everything) 4. Emotional connection (being real best friends and loving) 5. Physical connection 6. Never going to bed unsettled (if there is a problem, settle it immediately before bedtime) unless absolutely necessary for time to "think" or reflect on the issue, but resolve it ASAP. An Extra Blog Nugget... The 4 A's to a FOUREVER (Forever) MARRIAGE: Affection, Attention, Affirmation, and Appreciation. |
Author(s):Kevin and Mabel are a Ameri-Pino couple. He is American and she is Filipino. These are our thoughts and reflections about our lives and relationship together. Archives
January 2022
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